


Geromy Said Gay Rights

by Underlander413



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "But they wouldn't know about these memes!" you say, But actually every Homestuck character is a memelord, Group chat, Multi, Rating for mentions of thing but nothing beyond descriptions due to it being a group chat, They invent the memes, They're adults in this btw, more characters and tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-10-21 23:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underlander413/pseuds/Underlander413
Summary: It’s Earth C, these weird teens are gods, and they’re ready to make some memes, baby! A Group Chat fic, since a good chunk of Homestuck in in chat format anyway.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“[Insert Character Here] said gay rights.” - Dave Strider, known bisexual





	1. Karkat Roast Room

**Author's Note:**

> Windything - John Egbert  
> Sweet_Bro - Jade Harley  
> Hella_Jeff - Dave Strider  
> TheNewFriend_Geromy - Karkat Vantas

Hella_Jeff: whats popping fellow jimbos 

Windything: mostly wondering why we're not just using pester chum. 

Hella_Jeff: well first off the closest thing pesterchum had to group chat is memos which are dumb 

Hella_Jeff: second of all the troll version of it lets them go back and forward in time and thats a can of worms im not here to open 

Windything: i'm not sure that's how that phrase is supposed to be used. 

Hella_Jeff: yeah because i care 

Hella_Jeff: anyway for now its just you me jade and karkat 

Sweet_Bro: hey john! :) 

Windything: hey jade! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: HEY. 

Windything: fnkjhfdd oh my god? 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: WHAT? 

Windything: i read you user name and it felt like a punch in the gut. 

Windything: no offense or anything but that's just not what i was expecting from you! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: JADE AND DAVE MADE ME USE IT. 

Hella_Jeff: its like a couples costume except its a username and also theres three of us 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: IT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. 

Sweet_Bro: you said the same thing about a block of cheese yesterday! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: OKAY FINE SO MAYBE I'M NOT ENTIRELY SERIOUS THIS TIME. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: AND ALSO EVERY OTHER TIME. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: BUT I STILL DON'T LIKE IT. 

Hella_Jeff: i mean you argued with us about it for less than a minute but go off i guess 

Windything: dave you don't need to pull the receipts out in the group chat like that! 

Hella_Jeff: its too late hes dead now 

Sweet_Bro: press f 

Hella_Jeff: f 

Windything: f 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: I CAN LEAVE THIS GROUP CHAT AT ANY TIME, YOU KNOW. 

Hella_Jeff: but you wont 

Sweet_Bro: damn wig 

Hella_Jeff has changed the group name from "New Chat" to "Karkat Roast Room". 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: DAVE! 

Hella_Jeff: anyway new topic 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: NO! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: FIRST YOU MAKE ME NAME MYSELF AFTER YOUR SHITTY COMIC CHARACTER AND NOW THIS! 

Hella_Jeff: whoa whoa whoa back the fuck up 

Hella_Jeff: how dare you 

Hella_Jeff: you can say anything you want about Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff but dont you DARE insult The New Friend Geromy 

Hella_Jeff: Geromy said gay rights karkat 

Sweet_Bro: Geromy!!! said!!! gay rights!!! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: ALRIGHT WHATEVER. 

Windything: why are you guys capitalizing those names? 

Hella_Jeff: because youre supposed to capitalize the names of gods john 

Windything: aedf7uhsjd 

Hella_Jeff: haha john keysmashes like a bottom 

Windything: it's not my fault if roxy's a top, dave 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: OH MY GOD. 

Sweet_Bro: IM SCREAMING HOLY SHIT!!! 

Hella_Jeff: im at a fucking loss for words 

Hella_Jeff: you talked about reading something and feeling like you had been punched in the gut earlier and now i know what you meant 

Sweet_Bro: you kinda walked into that one dave!!! 

Hella_Jeff: im not kidding when i say that reply busted down my door and hit me square in the gut with a fucking mallet 

Hella_Jeff: i gotta go take a nap now 

Hella_Jeff: see you guys later if that reply doesn't kill me in my sleep 

Hella_Jeff is now inactive. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: YOU KNOW, I'M KIND OF TORN RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I'M BOTH GLAD YOU GOT HIM BACK FOR ME AND JEALOUS THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO THINK OF A REPLY THAT QUICKLY. 

Windything: not sure which part to address so i'm just going to go with "you're welcome." 

Sweet_Bro: fucking incredible... 


	2. The Kirb(TM)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sleepy bitch disease strikes again." - Dirk Strider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaymoire - Rose Lalonde  
> Catwizard - Roxy Lalonde  
> Dirk's username is a surprise lol 
> 
> This chapter starts just a bit after the last one left off.

Gaymoire has logged in 

Catwizard has logged in 

Catwizard: heyy 

Gaymoire: Greetings. 

Catwizard: lmao "greetings" rose u mysterious bitch 

Sweet_Bro: wig 

Catwizard: henlo homos whos here 

Catwizard: i mean other than my beautiful daughter ofc 

Sweet_Bro: jade! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: KARKAT. 

Windything: john. ;) 

Catwizard: whoa ho ho babe thats a saucy wink 

Catwizard: whats the occasion 

Sweet_Bro: daves dead and john killed him 

Catwizard: oh f 

Gaymoire: f 

Catwizard: at least it saves me from asking about this rooms lack of one (1) amazing son lmao 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: HOW AMAZING CAN HE BE? HE'S DEAD. 

Catwizard: good point 

Gaymoire: How'd he die? 

Windything: death by ultimate mom joke. 

Gaymoire: Understandable. 

Gay_Chungus has logged in. 

Gay_Chungus: Sup nya'll. 

Gaymoire: Nice username. 

Gay_Chungus: Same to you. 

Gay_Chungus: Where's Dave? I know he made this chat, but if he were here, he would've commented on my username by now. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: HE'S TAKING A NAP. 

Gay_Chungus: Sleepy bitch disease strikes again. 

Catwizard: its genetic lol 

Hella_Jeff has logged in. 

Hella_Jeff: hey 

Gay_Chungus: I thought you were asleep. 

Hella_Jeff: i woke up

Catwizard: i thought u were dead 

Hella_Jeff: i got better 

Gaymoire: He may have temporarily shaken off the symptoms of sleepy bitch disease, but can he ever be cured? 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: NO. 

Hella_Jeff: nice usernames by the way fellas 

Hella_Jeff: big meme energy 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: DAVE, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP USING THE BIG DICK ENERGY FORMAT. 

Hella_Jeff: karkat babe i love you but you can pry big dick energy out of my cold dead hands 

Hella_Jeff: anyway everyone hang on a sec 

Hella_Jeff has changed the group name from "Karkat Roast Room" to "Ultimate Kirby Fan Club" 

Catwizard: oh nice 

Hella_Jeff: thanks 

Sweet_Bro: its what he deserves :) 

Hella_Jeff: alright everyone press f for the kirb 

Hella_Jeff: hes not dead he just deserves respect 

Catwizard: f 

Sweet_Bro: f 

Windything: f 

Gaymoire: f 

Gay_Chungus: f 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: F 

Hella_Jeff: alright nice 

Hella_Jeff: man i love kirby 

Hella_Jeff: remember when kirby said gay rights? 

Catwizard: u mean everyday??? 

Hella_Jeff: holy fuck youre so right 

Sweet_Bro: kirby said gay rights! kirby said gay rights! 

Gaymoire: Everyday, I thank God for Kirby. 

Gaymoire: I didn't even stop when we became gods. 

Gay_Chungus: That is incredibly valid. 

Gay_Chungus: Anyway, I was wondering if you guys wanted to come to my meme party. 

Windything: what's a meme party? 

Gay_Chungus: Well, that's top secret, but I suppose I could give a few hints to a select few. 

Gay_Chungus: And by "give a few hints", I mean directly tell you. 

Gay_Chungus: And by "a select few", I mean literally everyone who asks. 

Gay_Chungus: So basically, instead of a bunch of different songs playing, "What's New Pussycat" plays seven times, then "It's Not Unusual" plays once, followed by "What's New Pussycat" thirteen more times, then the cycle repeats. 

Gay_Chungus: Except the front door has sensors on it, so any time someone comes through, "Never Gonna Give You Up" starts playing. 

Gay_Chungus: But every time Rick Astley says "never", the entire audio of The Bee Movie plays. 

Gay_Chungus: And every time "bee" is said, it gets faster. 

Sweet_Bro: jesus fucking christ 

Gay_Chungus: Thank you. 

Gaymoire: Question: does the speed carry over, or does every Bee Movie start at standard speed. 

Gay_Chungus: It carries over. 

Gay_Chungus: I'd also like to get a pinata but I'm not sure what it should be shaped like. 

Gaymoire: Scrappy Doo. 

Gay_Chungus: Perfect. 

Gay_Chungus: I'm gonna get started with planning. See ya. 

Gay_Chungus is now inactive. 

Hella_Jeff: well im gonna go outside and do something stupid 

Windything: what are you gonna do? 

Hella_Jeff: i dont know ill figure it out when i get there 

Hella_Jeff: see ya'll later and remember 

Hella_Jeff: kirby said gay rights 

Hella_Jeff is now inactive. 

Catwizard: ...legend...


	3. Oh You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seagulls. That's all I'll say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armed_Adventurer - Jake English  
> Jane's name is a surprise

Hella_Jeff has logged in 

Gay_Chungus has logged in 

Hella_Jeff: anyone else here 

Hella_Jeff: a big gay idiot??? 

Windything: dave, what the fuck did you do? 

Hella_Jeff: ok so i may or may not have angered several birds 

Gaymoire: How many? 

Hella_Jeff: so many 

Catwizard: wow 

Catwizard: thats many 

Sweet_Bro: ok, so im looking out of the window right now, and there has got to be at least twenty birds in my field of vision alone 

Sweet_Bro: im also pretty sure that some of them arent native to this area??? dave i love you but??? what the fuck??? 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: JHFKAAHDSFIJKHSAJKDFH DUFHISJADHKFN 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: IOHIFEHODSHFWEUIHF9PWE8Y4E8R4YRE65RYQE9DSFUIOYFHILDSAFUEDASHJ 

Windything: uh, you ok there, karkat? 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: ONE OF THE WINGED PISSLICKERS FLEW IN THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW AND MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE. 

Windything: oh damn it! 

Sweet_Bro: YES!!!!!! :) 

Gaymoire: Don't :) me, you cretin. 

Catwizard: i didn't raise u to be such a sore loser rose 

Hella_Jeff: alright what was it this time i forgot 

Gay_Chungus: She gets to pick the movie for Tuesday, as well as what kind of cake we have. 

Hella_Jeff: fuck 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: WAIT, WAIT, HOLD THE FUCK UP. 

Hella_Jeff: well you heard the man jade get over here and hold me 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY IS IT THAT I'M MISSING HERE. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: AND DON'T SAY NOTHING BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING. 

Gay_Chungus: Jade just won Karkat tantrum bingo. 

Sweet_Bro: i KNEW birds was a good bottom right option!!! 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: JADE JUST WON WHAT!?? 

Gaymoire: It was Dave's idea. 

Hella_Jeff: whoa thanks for throwing me under the fucking bus sis 

Gaymoire: No problem. 

Armed_Adventurer has logged in 

GetBaked has logged in 

Armed_Adventurer: Hello friends o' mine. 

GetBaked: Hey guys. 

Catwizard: whoa janey, nice name 

GetBaked: Thank you! I'm quite proud of it.

Armed_Adventurer: So whats going on with all of you on this fine day? 

Windything: jade just won karkat tantrum bingo. 

Armed_Adventurer: Oh really! What gave her the win, the umbrellas? 

Windything: nah, it was the birds, actually. 

Armed_Adventurer: Oh i remember her choosing that one! Cant say i expected that one to score, but good for you jade! 

Sweet_Bro: thanks!!! 

GetBaked: So what kind of cake do you want for Tuesday Jade? I'll start working on it tonight. 

Sweet_Bro: chocolate sounds good! 

Hella_Jeff: wait hold up 

Hella_Jeff: youre gonna start working on it tonight??? its friday, youve got at least until monday to start 

GetBaked: That might be true if I was making a normal cake, but there are so many of you, and you all eat so much. 

Hella_Jeff: you know what thats fair 

Hella_Jeff: ive got no argument 

Windything: anyway, i feel like weve gotten off topic. 

Windything: dave, what did you do to upset so many birds? 

Hella_Jeff: im gonna be honest with you john 

Hella_Jeff: ive got no fucking clue 

Hella_Jeff: actually you know what im not even sure they are upset 

Hella_Jeff: maybe its something else??? 

Hella_Jeff: like im no expert on bird emotions or anything but 

Hella_Jeff: do you guys thing birds have a concept of gay rights 

Hella_Jeff: because i think maybe these birds said gay rights 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: WELL WHATEVER FEELING IT IS THAT COMPELLED THESE BIRDS TO FOLLOW YOU, I THINK YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: I MANAGED TO GET THE BIRD BACK OUTSIDE, BUT NOT BEFORE IT SHIT IN MY ROOM. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: SO NOW THERE'S BIRD SHIT IN MY ROOM, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT. 

Hella_Jeff: alright alright what do you want 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: HMMMMMMMMM... 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: HOW ABOUT YOU SING ME A LOVE BALLAD. 

Hella_Jeff: a love ballad 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: YEP. 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: GIMME THE MOST ROMANTIC SONG YOU KNOW, STRIDER. 

Hella_Jeff: the most romantic song i know 

Hella_Jeff: oh i got it 

Hella_Jeff: everybody hold onto your onto your asses 

Hella_Jeff: ahem... 

Hella_Jeff: rockin' 

Hella_Jeff: rockin' and rollin' 

Hella_Jeff: down to the beach im strollin' 

Hella_Jeff: but the seagulls poke at my head 

Hella_Jeff: not fun 

Hella_Jeff: i said "seagulls... mmgh! stop it now!" 

TheNewFriend_Geromy: ... 

TheNewFriend_Geromy is now inactive 

Hella_Jeff: yo what the fuck 

Hella_Jeff: i pour my soul into typing out the most romantic song i can think of and THIS is the thanks i get???? 

Windything: i'm actually crying right now. 

Windything: actual tears are coming out of my eyes. 

Sweet_Bro: i liked it dave! :) 

Hella_Jeff: thanks babe 

Hella_Jeff: at least someone in this fucking house appreciates me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things. First of all, I know Jake didn't say much but I'm still worried that what he did say may not have been the kind of things he says? He honestly probably has the weirdest style in canon, in my opinion, but I love him so much. I am just such a slut for the Prospit kids. 
> 
> Second of all, just in case it wasn't clear, Jane knows exactly what she's doing. 
> 
> Third of all, Karkat tantrum bingo was just a really funny joke, and I only remember it being mentioned once, pre-retcon, so what I'm saying is not only would it be a thing post-retcon, Karkat would have no idea it existed. 
> 
> Lastly, if you liked this I'd be really happy if you left a comment!!! I love seeing that I got hits and kudos, of course, but seeing the number of comments go up adds five years to my lifespan, and I thrive both on people complimenting my work and on knowing I've made people happy, so I'd just really appreciate it!!! Thank you for reading this!!!!! :)


End file.
